Monday, August 30, 2010
I didn't allow myself to overeat just because I wasn't counting, but being as busy as I was I didn't always make the best choices with the options I had.
Oh yea, I'm also having a lovely visit with TOM. He always ruins a party, doesn't he? Since I've changed my eating habits TOM really hasn't been much of a bother, but man oh man has he made his presence known this month!! The emotions, the cravings, the bloating. I don't know what it is....maybe all of that processed food I ate at the beginning of the month? Either way, I'm not happy with him right now!!
Ok, so here we go: This week's weigh in result is 217.8. For a one week's loss of only .2 lbs. Considering the week I've had, I'll take it. That puts me at a total loss of 7.4 lbs. I know slow and steady wins the race, but this is agonizing!!!
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Recently while working out at the gym, someone made a comment to me about "it gets easier" or "you are doing such a great job, you should be so proud of yourself" I forget the exact comment, but it was painfully obvious that this person thought this was the first time in my life I had ever seen the inside of a gym or ever walked up and touched a weight machine.
I wanted to scream out "THIS IS NOT ME!!" "I HAVEN'T ALWAYS BEEN THIS SIZE!!" I used to be a collegiate athlete for shit's sake! In my mind I still see myself as that fit, muscular girl. I have to remind myself that to others, I'm simply an over weight, almost middle aged woman that looks like she's enjoyed a few too many twinkies.
While having my orientation at the gym (on the weight machines) my trainer mentioned that I already know how to work all of the machines so why do I even need her? I laughed a bit and explained that I used to be an athlete and it turns out that her daughter played competitive volleyball as well. You know what she said to me? "Wow, you're awfully short to be a volleyball player. You must have been really good to be able to play in college." I don't know why, but that comment sent me over the moon. I do know why ~ because I was good. And having someone recognize that ~ even all these years later ~ felt good.
So anyway, back to judging. If I see a skinny woman at the gym, at the grocery store, at the park, wherever, I used to make the assumption that she's always been thin. She's never had to count a calorie in her life and that being healthy simply comes naturally to her. Conversly, I'm guilty of doing what was done to also me. If I see an overweight woman I used to make the assumption that she eats horribly, doesn't take care of herself and probably has never seen the inside of a gym.
That's all changed now. I'm making a choice. I'm chosing to look at people differently. I'm chosing to see a thin, healthy, active woman and I'm going to believe that she works hard for her health. Maybe she was overweight in the past and maybe she's overcome such huge hurdles in her life that being healthy now is the only way for her to continue living. Maybe that overweight woman that I ran into at the library has already lost 50+ lbs and is still working hard everyday to continue taking the weight off. Maybe the obese person you see filling her cart with fruits and vegetables at the grocery store used to be a top notch athlete and she's finding her way back...
Everyone has a story.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
I'm not a status quo kind of girl. I don't just followed the pack. I don't do things just because I am "supposed to." I don't give credence to someone who simply claims to be an expert. I do my own research and form my own opinions. I do this with all things in life ~ nutrition, politics, education, spirituality, everything. I've lost friends because of it. I'm ok with that because they weren't truly my friends to begin with.
I homeschool my children, I eat as cleanly as I can, I do not participate in organized religion & and I'm the only person in my (extended) family to actually leave the area in which we were all raised. I wouldn't change anything, but sometimes living this way is exhausting. Sometimes I wish my kids went to public school and sometimes I would love to just grab a Lean Cuisine and a 100 calorie pack for lunch and call it good. Occasionally I wish I still lived right next to all of my family so I could ship the kids over there and just take a few minutes to breath.
I couldn't do any of those things in good conscience. I've researched traditional schooling until I thought my eyes would pop out of my head, I've read study after study after study about nutrition and health. I've read the history and current events of numerous religions since I was in college and I love living somewhere new and different from where I knew grew up.
People joke with me and tell me I read too much. But I can't justify not reading the things I read. I believe I have to be informed. I can't make a good decision without reading everything I can get my hands on. I love knowledge and I don't consider Yahoo News, CNN, Fox News, People Magazine, Cosmo Magazine, etc....to be valid sources of information. I have to dig deeper. I have to find their sources and then the sources for those sources. Those sources then usually lead me to other articles and other studies and so on and so forth. I told you it could be exhausting.
I'm so completely overwhelmed with life right now and I'm having one of those moments that I think life would be so much easier if I were shipping my kids off to school next week and could pop in a frozen dinner and call it a meal. Easier? Yes. The best life I could give myself and my kids? ~ not even close.
So what do I do when I feel like I'm drowning in the details of my life? A friend told me once "just keep swimming until you get a chance to come up for air." And that's exactly what I do. I just keep pushing. I know eventually things will settle down. We'll find our new routine with the new school year, my kitchen will be clean enough to actually use again someday and my husband will be home to give me a break with the kids, until then Happy Swimming......
Friday, August 27, 2010
Ok, we're officially out of my neighborhood. This is where I run....
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Saturday, August 21, 2010
I'm right now drinking my first green smoothie in days and I can feel an immediate increase in my energy already. I'm not even half way through with the glass.
I wonder how many times I have to do this to myself before I finally get the message?
Friday, August 20, 2010
So, I did my first set of lunges tonight. Two sets, actually. I can't do walking lunges, it's way too painful on my knee (stupid, unnecessary surgery). So, I put one foot in front of the other and go Up/Down, Up/Down, Up/Down about 15 times. Then I switch legs. Oh, I can feel the burn. You know what's funny? My abs burn almost as much as my legs. I'm a wreck!! LOL!!
Thursday, August 19, 2010
- Dinner was spaghetti and garlic bread brought from home. Ground beef in the sauce was grass fed beef and the bread was fresh artisan bread from our local market. The butter was pasture butter from Organic Valley. Overall, I was fine with that meal.
- Followed up with a few beers & a margarita made with fresh strawberries.
- Breakfast was pancakes (plain ole' bisquick) and real maple syrup (no flavored HFCS in this family) with bacon (from happy pigs) & fresh fruit. Not too bad. I drank OJ and water
- Lunch was fresh fruit and cut up veggie sticks with local, fresh made ranch dressing (no bottled salad dressings, either). I ate a handful of Doritoes to get some salt and I drank a Mtn Dew and water. I also had a snickerdoodle cookie.
- I made a green smoothie that day and drank two of them. I also had a margarita made with fresh strawberries.
- Dinner was potluck style and I ate a hamburger with all of the fixin's (I did not supply the hamburgers and they were not grassfed beef) including a white bun. Pasta salad (not made my me) and homestyle baked beans (made by me with bacon from happy pigs and organic ketchup) and a fresh fruit salad. Dessert was a few bites of chocolate chip cookie cake. I drank a few beers that night.
- Breakfast was scrambled eggs (organic, but not pastured), bacon & fresh fruit. Green Smoothie on the side.
- Lunch was more fresh fruit & veggies with dip. A handful of pita chips with hummus and again a few Doritoes with Mtn Dew and water.
- We bought the kids popcicles and I indulged in a ChocoTaco. I also had a green smoothie before dinner and another margarita.
- Dinner was potluck style again. Tacos!! Another family brought the taco meat and she used ground turkey, store bought. Meh, what are ya gonna do? Anyway, I had one white tortilla filled with refried beans (from a can), taco meat, mexican rice (from a packaged mix), cheese, tortilla chips & sour cream. Not a single raw item in my taco. This was the beginning of my downfall. I followed it with quite a few beers and a few handfuls of chips. I had one S'more.
- I drank a green smoothie at the camp site while we were packing up.
- Breakfast was eaten at a local restaurant and I had two eggs, over medium & biscuits and gravy with a side of sausage. Not the most responsible choice.....
- Another Mtn Dew in the truck for the ride home with more water.
- For dinner we ordered Domino's Pizza (again, not a great choice)
I weighed myself Tuesday morning and the official damage was: 223.2
I wasn't too upset with it, realizing it was probably mostly water weight and that I could get it back off by my weigh in on Monday. I was committed to being back home and counting calories again. I went for a run on Tuesday and completed W2D1 of my C25K program and all was good. Except I couldnt' stop eating. And I wasn't eating good stuff. Yesterday I had a green smoothie for breakfast and DairyQueen for lunch (I know, I know). I had a small bowl of cereal for dinner and after the kids went to bed I dove into a pack of saltine crackers smoothered with Easy Cheese. With a Mtn Dew on the side. I don't even like Easy Cheese. Thankfully there are no Mtn Dew's left and I will not be buying anymore. That was my camping treat and I was sure to buy the throw back ~ made with real sugar and NOT HFCS. As if that makes a huge difference (rolling eyes at myself.....). I was in such a low point yesterday that the thoughts of saying "screw it" entered my mind several times.
Right before bed last night I realized I was severely dehydrated. I drank a huge glass of water and I woke up still parched. I think my cravings and uncontrollable eating is due to some major dehydration.
I weighed myself this morning and I'm down to 221.0. I have to admit, I'm a little shocked! Today I'm 100% back on track. I'm drinking nothing but water and I'm eating lots of raw fruits and veggies. Starting with breakfast:
Peanut Butter Apple Dip:
1 cup honey roasted peanut butter (I buy fresh ground from our local market)
1 cup organic (or homemade) cream cheese
1/2 cup organic (or homemade) vanilla yogurt
Mix thoroughly. Easy Peasy and ssooo yummy on a sweet Fuji apple. According to Livestrong, 1/4 cup of this mixture is 234 calories. It is so filling and I usually can't even eat the full 1/4 cup with one apple. This will keep me going until lunch time.
I'm headed back to the gym today to get my run in. I refuse to give up on my C25K program. I AM A RUNNER. I repeat that to myself over and over while I'm on the treadmill. It will be my reality.
And just to show I mean business, I decided to enter the Legs Love Lunges Challenge over at 5 Miles Past Empty. I'm coming in a week late, but I guess that's better than not coming to the party at all, right? Here's the scoop:
Take a picture of your legs right now (these were taken on Tuesday) and then do lunges three times per week from now (it started Aug 10) until Sept 10 and then take another picture of your legs and see if we can see the difference. Sept 10 just happens to the be Friday before my first official 5K so this is perfect timing for me!
Let's get this party started!!
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
More gorgeous green ~ it's beautiful.
Notice anything different? Where did the green go? Eastern WA definitely have a different landscape than the one I'm used to!
Aaahh, the lake. There are my boys, commiserating about how lake swimming is so much different than the pool.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
We're jumping right back into real life today as I scramble to get everything done in order to ship my husband back off to work this evening. I'll write up a real post tonight ~ or maybe tomorrow : )
Thursday, August 12, 2010
I followed it up with about 45 minutes of strength training. I won't get a work out in at all tomorrow (other then schlepping camping equipment from the truck, setting up the tent and little bit of hiking) so I wanted to end this week strong. I'm still planning to do a run or two while we're camping.
And, in true Jessica fashion ~ I've decided to sign up for a 5K. The date is Sept 12, about 4 weeks before the C25K program is actually complete. The last run on the program before the race is a 5 minute walk, 20 minute run, 5 minute walk. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to complete the full 5K by that point, even if I have to take a walk break or two. Let's hope so because my friend's husband has offered to watch my kids during the race and he said I have 37 minutes to complete the race before he releases the kids into the crowd! Boy, he sure knows how to push me, huh? LOL!!
Have a good weekend folks!