I've always been "that girl." The one that paves her own way. The one they've always affectionately labeled "cooky". The one my brother calls his "crazy sister." (I'm his only sister).
I'm not a status quo kind of girl. I don't just followed the pack. I don't do things just because I am "supposed to." I don't give credence to someone who simply claims to be an expert. I do my own research and form my own opinions. I do this with all things in life ~ nutrition, politics, education, spirituality, everything. I've lost friends because of it. I'm ok with that because they weren't truly my friends to begin with.
I homeschool my children, I eat as cleanly as I can, I do not participate in organized religion & and I'm the only person in my (extended) family to actually leave the area in which we were all raised. I wouldn't change anything, but sometimes living this way is exhausting. Sometimes I wish my kids went to public school and sometimes I would love to just grab a Lean Cuisine and a 100 calorie pack for lunch and call it good. Occasionally I wish I still lived right next to all of my family so I could ship the kids over there and just take a few minutes to breath.
I couldn't do any of those things in good conscience. I've researched traditional schooling until I thought my eyes would pop out of my head, I've read study after study after study about nutrition and health. I've read the history and current events of numerous religions since I was in college and I love living somewhere new and different from where I knew grew up.
People joke with me and tell me I read too much. But I can't justify not reading the things I read. I believe I have to be informed. I can't make a good decision without reading everything I can get my hands on. I love knowledge and I don't consider Yahoo News, CNN, Fox News, People Magazine, Cosmo Magazine, etc....to be valid sources of information. I have to dig deeper. I have to find their sources and then the sources for those sources. Those sources then usually lead me to other articles and other studies and so on and so forth. I told you it could be exhausting.
I'm so completely overwhelmed with life right now and I'm having one of those moments that I think life would be so much easier if I were shipping my kids off to school next week and could pop in a frozen dinner and call it a meal. Easier? Yes. The best life I could give myself and my kids? ~ not even close.
So what do I do when I feel like I'm drowning in the details of my life? A friend told me once "just keep swimming until you get a chance to come up for air." And that's exactly what I do. I just keep pushing. I know eventually things will settle down. We'll find our new routine with the new school year, my kitchen will be clean enough to actually use again someday and my husband will be home to give me a break with the kids, until then Happy Swimming......