I recognize that I have abused you for the last several decades. I know that I have asked so much of you while offering minimal quality fuel. I have stuffed you with junk food and let you sit sedentary for years. I understand all of this. Through it all you still managed to take good care of me. You kept my blood pressure down, you did not allow the development of diabetes and you have worked hard to keep me relatively healthy.
I appreciate all of this. To show my gratitude, I've made big changes. I'm now providing you with the adequate fuel and nutrition that you need to keep me going properly. You do not have to work so hard, now. I'm giving you food that does a lot of the work for you. Thank you, body. I promise to take care of you and to help you from this point on.
I understand now why, when I eat (ahem) Chinese food and Mt. Dew for dinner, you would keep me up all night with cramps and send me to the bathroom first thing in the morning. I totally get why eating a bowl of Lucky Charms before a run would give you cause to make me want to throw up for the rest of the day. I get it. I really do.
But, this plantar faciitis pain you're handing back to me, now? No. I don't understand. Running, while a little painful right now, will only serve to help you in the long run. It will continue to make your job even easier. You're going to have to trust me on this one. I mean it. I won't stop running. So, while we're trying to rebuild our friendship, I'm going to have to respectfully ask you to KNOCK THIS SHIT OFF!!!
Oh good. I'm glad we're on the same page on this.