Monday, April 11, 2011

Pressing the Reset Button

When a weightloss blogger suddenly disappears you can pretty much bet the farm that she's not out partying it up about all of her successes. We bloggers, we're a pretty talkative bunch. We don't usually fall off the Earth unless there are things we simply don't want to share. My life got super crazy for about 3 1/2 weeks. Was it so crazy that I couldn't sit down for a few mintues and write out some quick updates? No. Was it so crazy that I couldn't make up some salads to have in the fridge to keep eating healthfully? No. Did I do either of these things? No. In the last month:

  • We've gone out of town

  • We planned an 8 year old's birthday party

  • We rushed said 8 year old to the ER after he nearly cut his thumb off. (11 stitches is a lot in a little thumb!)

  • We cancelled said birthday party because it's hard to go rock climbing with 11 stitches in your thumb.

  • We rushed a dog to the vet after getting nipped by another dog at the kennel and developing an infection on his head

  • I've had my husband home for 25 days (in a row). Fabulous ~ but it really wrecks my routines

  • I ran a four mile run pain free

  • I went to a support group for TBI survivors and have begun the horrible task of trying to get a referral to a specialist

  • I've begun walking with a noticable limp and haven't been pain free in at least two weeks

And 5000 other things that I'm sure I'm forgetting......

I've used every one of those things to avoid exercising and eating properly. I feel like shit and I'm quite certain I look like shit. I'm frustrated because I can't run right now. My half marathon is 8 weeks away and the furthest I've run is 4 miles and I can't even run 2 miles without cringing right now.

I used that to completely throw in the towel for exercise. I know my foot feels better when I do non weight bearing exercise. I can ride the bike, I can swim, I can even do the elliptical, I can lift weights. All of those make me feel better and help my foot heal, but I drowned myself in pity and said fuck it all.

No more. It ends now. I'm pressing the reset button. I'm putting the half marathon out of my head for now. I will go to the gym and do what worked for me the last time. I'll take the strength class, I'll ride the bike, I'll take the ball class, I'll do spin, I'll swim. Anything but run. And when my foot feels better I'll run a mile. And when that doesn't hurt, I'll run two. And if by some miracle of God I can get my mileage up to 1o miles in the next 8 weeks I'll run that half marathon. Otherwise, I'll keep doing what doesn't hurt and eventually I'll get there. I live in Seattle for crap's sake ~ there are half marathons all year long around here. I'll find one and I'll do it.

The sun is shining today, it's a beautiful day and I'm sick of feeling sorry for myself. I'm back, peeps. I'm so very very back!

1 comment:

  1. Jessica I love you and don't want to discourage you but I'm worried your pushing yourself too hard to be a runner. It's great to have goals and push yourself beyond your comfort zone but you are limping for a reason. I personally have admitted that I am not nor will I ever be a runner. I'm doing a 5k for fun, no time goal. After that I'll be looking into long distance bicycling. I enjoy that far more.

    I dropped off the blogging map because I just don't have anything to say. I'll still eating well and watching my weight. I'm at maintenance and nobody wants to hear me talk about that.