Monday, October 4, 2010

My Cross to Bear.....

**my apologies for the sacrilegious picture, it just seemed so fitting**
So, Monday nights at our house are a little hectic. The boys have aikido from 4:30-5:30 and then Chess Club from 6:30-8:00. There is not enough time to go home and eat dinner and make it to Chess Club on time. In the past I've packed dinner in the cooler and we eat in the mall food court (which is where Chess Club is held). Tonight wasn't one of those nights. Chess Club has only been back up and running for three weeks and well, I just don't have my "school year" act together quite yet. Our mall food court sucks and there isn't anything there my children will eat. I've been reduced to the golden arches drive thru for two weeks in a row now. Bleh... Tonight I swore I was not going to order anything for myself. I was going to wait until we got to the mall and get a Subway Sandwich. To be perfectly honest, the calorie counts are not that much different and I knew I'd feel like shit after each option, but it was the best I had available. I had plenty of calories to use because I did an hour long step class this morning followed by some time on the treadmill. I was hungry. Too hungry and I caved. I cannot say no to McD's for some reason. I can drive past it every single day and be fine, but if I'm there I simply can't walk away from the food. I do not blame McD's as so many people today like to do. It's my choice and it's my cross to bear. I simply need to change the picture in my mind and realize that yes, I can walk away. I can say no.
But for now, I am going to bed because I have a stomach ache. Bleh....
P.S. Even with that disgusting dinner, I still have over 500 calories left in my "bank" for tonight. I just feel like shit, that's all.

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