Monday, November 7, 2011



I'm mad and I'm tired. Tired of setting goals and not reaching them. Tired of just giving lip service to this journey I'm supposedly on. I'm tired of dreaming about being a healthy weight, about being skinny, about being a hottie.

I set some goals a few weeks ago: Two pounds by my birthday. Two fucking pounds. I was working out, but I wasn't pushing myself. I finally got pissed off enough at the thought of another goal just passing me by, so about four days before my birthday I decided to get serious. I was sweating bullets at the gym, burning almost 1000 workout calories a day, counting my calories, watching what I was eating. I was on fire. My weight was up each day, but it always is when I'm working hard. I knew after a rest day it would level out and go down.

Except it didn't. Saturday was a rest day, so I officially weighed myself on Sunday. It was 223.8 WTF?! It went UP? UP? So I spent yesterday feeling sorry for myself. I found myself with my hand in the Halloween candy more than once. I skipped my workout and I felt the self pity taking over.

But I woke up this morning with a new attitude. No more missed goals because I didn't work for them. If I miss a goal it'll be because I've done absolutely everything in my power to get to it and it just wasn't meant to be. I was in the gym today, back at a yoga class. I'd forgotten how much I enjoy yoga. It felt great and according to Livestrong, it burned about 230 calories. Afterwards, I hit the elliptical with my ipad. I watched an episode of Pan Am while sweating through an interval workout. According to Livestrong, that burned over 800 calories.

I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing. I have every intention of meeting the rest of the goals I set ~ 215 by our anniversary and 210 by Christmas. My lowest weight since starting this blog was 212 and that was just over a year ago (Dec). I do not intend to start 2012 heavier than I started 2011, thankyouverymuch!

So, here's to pushing myself through the holidays. Won't you join me?


  1. Just a thought, have you had your thyroid checked?

  2. Well said...and well done...thanks for the inspiring kick in the pants..I'm with you 100%
    Never, ever give up on yourself.. :)